Testimony

“Long my imprisoned spirit lay, fast bound in sin and natures night,

thine eye diffused a quickening ray, I woke, the dungeon flamed with light.

My chains fell off, my heart was free;

I rose went forth and followed thee.”

-Charles Wesley

 

Here I have transcribed from a video the personal testimony of Paul Washer. Now for one reason why I am doing this is because his testimony resembles my own. Situations and circumstances were different, but God worked in the same way. Please read and understand.

“As a young man in ministry I was privileged with being around a lot of very very old and very very godly men. They would talk to me. These were men of God. Baptists, very so much, reformed (some of them), people not given to enthusiasm or emotions or any other thing like that. Devout men. 

They would talk to me about the power of God. They would talk to me about the presence of God. Not as men quoting stories they had read, but whom with their own eyes had sought after God. I would into the streets of Austin, Texas and preach. I was afraid, there was no boldness, there was no power, there was nothing. I would always hear the voices of these old men.

One day I decided that enough was enough, I was going to seek Him till I find Him or until I die. I went into a closest and said I would not leave this closet until I know God.

15 minutes later I feel asleep. My roommates came in and found me asleep in the closet. So I took an alarm clock with me, set it for every 15 minutes. I pray for maybe 5-10 minutes, fall asleep, the clock would go off and I’d pray again.

This was my prayer. I didn’t pray for China, I didn’t pray for the presence of God in the sense of my ministry, I asked for one thing.

‘Lord you said if I seek you I will find you. You said it, you said it Lord. You would reveal yourself to me, you would let yourself be found by me if I seek you.’

Night after night after night, for months, for 2 and 3 hours a night, simply sitting there on my knees.

‘Lord it’s been 4 months, it’s been days, and you still have not come.’ I would sit there. ‘Lord I’ve been here for 3 hours and you have not come.’

Day after day and night after night, then one day our church was out on Spring Break, and all the college students were going to a Bible Study ski trip to Colorado, but I felt the Lord call me out to west Texas. To the hill country, where it’s barren. I walked on top of those hills for 3 days like a wild man. If you had seen me, you would have thrown me into an asylum. I was picking up rocks and I was throwing them.

Literally and physically picking up rocks and throwing them at the sky, screaming, ‘God I must know you! You must come! You must! I can’t live like this anymore, I can’t live just reading books, I can’t live just reading about revivals, and people who knew somebody who knew somebody who knew you!’ And nothing happened, so I went home.

Another several weeks passed, but one night, He came. I said, ‘Father I can’t….please come.’ And He came. I was thrown down on the ground, and I don’t know for how long in the fetal position covering my head with my arms thinking that God had come to kill me. The presence of God in a way that in one second more of my sin and my need, His glory and power was revealed.

All of a sudden, every bit of fear was taken away. I was filled with such joy, and my mouth shot open verse after verse from the Psalms, from everywhere else, passages I had read. Just coming forth, praises to Him.

I can tell you it has been 20 years and the presence of Christ is more real to me than anyone of you in this room.

You want holiness in your life? Run to Him, and stay there till He comes.”

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlaCzmYBpUQ

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Below is a more detailed explanation of brother Paul’s testimony, if you’ve read this far please don’t stop.

“Let me tell you about my Jesus. Let me testify about my Lord.

22 years ago I woke up in my apartment half naked, having drunk myself almost to death. I noticed I was cold, and I felt something on my face. What was I laying in? I stumbled to my feet and went to the mirror, turned on the light, and this very distinguished, eloquent preacher; lost and without Jesus had spent the entire night in his own vomit.

Let me tell you about my Jesus.

He has saved me when I was such a wretch, you wouldn’t have run over me with your car. But my Jesus, He bought me with His blood.

My Jesus, He came to me and my Jesus took away my sin, my Jesus took away my shame.

O hail the power of Jesus’ name! Let angels prostrate fall, bring forth the royal diadem and crown Him Lord of all!

That’s my Jesus. I glory in my weakness, and I glory, yea even in my sin!

Sometimes young men will ask me, ‘Brother Paul! What is your secret? How is it you preach the way you do?’

He found me in a pool of vomit; that’s my secret. That there are not many wise or noble, I am the chief of all sinners, I was the lowest of the low and that’s what Jesus does. That’s my secret.

I had nothing! That’s my secret!”